Myka Fox makes me laugh

I was looking at Myka Fox’ blog today (she’s a comedian). There were some pretty funny bits in there – assuming you laugh at inappropriate things. Admittedly, she sounds like she could use a therapist. A few bits that made me laugh – hopefully, you’ll find them as funny as I did:

Social Tip #18 – Respecting Superiors

I used to wear a shirt that read MY FATHER DIED IN A BAKING ACCIDENT. It’s a line from a play I was in during high school, everyone who performed in that play got that shirt.

I wore it to work, and my boss asked me what the shirt was about. I told him that a bunch of them were handed out at my father’s funeral. There was a terrible oven explosion that took his life, but he had a wonderful sense of humor and would have seen the irony in his death. He would have loved the shirt.

My boss said, “Oh, I’m sorry about that.”

I said, “I’m just kidding. My father is a dentist. He is still alive.”

My boss said, “My father died from cancer.”

I said, “Oh, did you get a shirt?”

Social Tip #11 – Mormons

The other day I met a fellow comedian while waiting backstage to perform. He told me that his life had changed a lot since he moved from Utah. Then I did this:

Me: Man. That must have been terrible. Performing for Mormons? Those people are nuts.

Comedian: (polite laugh) It wasn’t so bad.

As he said this it dawned on me: goofy face, blond hair, horse teeth… this guy was a Mormon. By the time my brain processed his Mormon-ness he had already left to go on stage. I turned to the other people in the room.

Me: That guy’s a Mormon, isn’t he?

Other People: Yeah.

Shit.

The Mormon comedian bound back in from the stage, flaunting his Mormonosity. Here was my chance to make amends.

Me: Hey. Great show. I’m sorry about what I said about the Mormons, you’re probably a Mormon, aren’t you?

Comedian: Yeah, I am. It’s fine.

Me: No, it’s not fine. It was stupid of me. Of course you are Mormon, why else would you live in Utah? I really didn’t mean to offend you.

Comedian: Don’t worry about it. There is nothing you could say to offend me.

Nothing I could say to offend him? what kind of Mormon garbage is that? His faith prohibits my words from entering him as though they were caffeine or homosexual thoughts? If he can believe a stupid book then he can believe a live thinking human. How dare he assume that I am not creative enough to offend him!